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I didnt used my holidays wisely...all i did was to read and read books full of detective stories until i am starting to get tired of it,
And now only just 2 more weeks and school will open and i become a upper secondary 3 student!
5 more days to MY BIRTHDAY and i am specially looking forward to it.
Finally that day is coming...i has been waiting for a year. Ya i know that everyone waits a year for it but it seems to me that for those who were born in the middle of the year....they wont feel that long..you know?
Christmas is only 3 days away and of course it is a special day but i dont have that festive feeling.
Asked my dad whether he has any plans and he just dont have.
Yesterday i watched the soccer match between singapore and vietnam. Singapore was doing better defintely compared to the first leg semi final. Singapore dominated the match and there were plenty if chances for singapore to score but then suddenly vietnam did a counter attack and by a stroke of luck they scored. I was clearly shocked at this revelation, no one expects it to turn out this way. And then suddenly just everything goes wrong. My sister was scolded for not sleeping on time and my stepmum starts insulting her on her results which i was clearly angry but didnt make any comments. My dad intervened and it ended on a sour note. Sometimes to say the truth, i feel that the standards my stepmum make is too hard for herself and even much more on us.
Anyway i loved to watch soccer....english premiership. No, i dont support any team...not really.
Okay i got to go...turning 10pm...time for sleep....
- Mood:
calm
Whenever i am at home, i only got these few things to do: eat,sleep, read books, bathe and watch tv.
Cause other than all this, i dont have other things to do.
And oh yeah i also use computer for 1 hour only. Nothing more and nothing less.
Thank God that tomorrow is saturday, the weekend is here.
But i am not going to be like this forever, i must try to do something different, get some fresh air.
I want to go back to library! Return my eight books as i had read finish all of them, get new ones. To keep me busy doing study time.
I know if my life is going to go on like this........i am gonna die of boredom........
Wanna go out with fatin again.......or a friend.................to save me.
3 more weeks and i will be in school as a new secondary 3 student, ready to face all the challenges head-on!
- Mood:
bored
I didnt post for the past few days as i am sort of..lazy. Yesterday was my grandmother birthday so we went out to tampines mall. My youngest uncle is finally taller than me. He is only a year older than me, can you believe that? I had been taller than him from 2005 till this year. Of course he is defintely happy about it, his height is 168 while mine is about 165-166. I do hope that i can still grow taller.
Ate lunch in a steamboat...fine i dont know what is that called as i had forgotten. It involves taking raw food and cooking it yourself..something like that. There are a variety of food and somemore you can eat as much as you want so i ate a lot..and spent quite a long time there..relaxing. Played psp as well.
Recently i started thinking more of the future, about what i am going to be because of something secret. This secret is defintely going to impact me and of course people around me. As much as i want to spell it out, i cant because i am commanded not to. Time will tell so i dont really need to spell it out. I just cant help smiling at the thought of it.
Next year is going to be a challenging year for me. O-Levels is coming soon as i am turning into a secondary 3 student. New classmates and also SYF. Examinations also .....new subjects. Defintely i got to learn the importance of time management..haha
Okay i better go now..need to send a email to my second aunt...bb
- Mood: content
Like i had earlier mentioned, i went over to my grandparents house to stay from friday night till sunday morning.
On saturday, i went to jurong bird park with the siglap people along with my grandparents and my sis. We took a free bus ride and a lot of old people came for the outing too. To be frank, i wasnt that comfortable as there were so many old people. Reached there and we were given time to hang around on our own. My grandparents didnt know how to read the map as it was in english so i somehow became the leader, leading them around. We saw many types of birds like eagels, vultures and parrots. We also watched two bird shows and it was interesting. Right after that we went to a place for lunch and i didnt really eat as it was cold. Actually we could have toured the whole place but because my grandfather was too tired so we rested. This whole trip was like more of PE..walking non-stop.
Yesterday i went to church and pastor preached about living without regrets. How to live without regrets? Live with a purpose, principle and for God. I shall stop here
- Mood: chipper
Okay right now i am really unhappy due to two reasons. Firstly I have problems logging in to msn and i want to chat with fatin...this is a minor problem. The real one is the second reason. My stepmum discouraging us with her words. She made us out to be so bad!
People who know who is my stepmum may be wondering why am i using this term to call her instead of other words such as Auntie or what? I know this term may sound a bit offensive but seriously the relationship between me and her is quite strained. I cant stand her for being so picky over small things and her discouraging talk. While on the other hand, she cant stand me being not serious on certain things. I guess if you were to ask her about me, she will have a whole list to blame me.
Now my father is in US for a business trip since last saturday. So i tried not to cause any trouble in his absence, from last saturday till today. I thought that i was behaving better compared to other times. But she shattered my thoughts by telling both me and my sister that she is very stressed out as she got something to scold us on all the time.
Seriously i dont know what she want?! What does she want me to do?? I had been trying to behave well, dont talk back but then even all this she is still not happy. I think her expectations is too high....
Anyway from tonight till Sunday, i will be staying over at my grandparents place. Happy defintely! Can relax and enjoy. My grandparents place is the place for relaxation...
- Mood:
curious
Just kidding! As you can see from above, i am now in a happy mood..not mooooo
These past few days, i had been only doing one thing which is .......reading....so boring right?
But what can i do? I have to start planning out my goals and aims of this holiday.......
I still havent finish my scrapbook which is meant to be done before december...well this is one of the worries that i had.
I am not the only one with this worry, my other friends also still havent do.....but yeah got to be responsible..
8 more minutes to go of using this computer..............................
Now shall be going off will be back by next week or tomorrow if possible
- Mood: calm
Yesterday i went to library with my younger sis and of course we read la. Even though this sounded boring, at least i am glad to be out of my house for a while..haha. Went out for dinner also and we invented a new name for POSB.
I wont tell you because i may get sued so..........shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Today i went out to NTUC and sheng soing?! And then you know what? we used ntuc trolley for sheng siong things! I was absoultely stunned when my stepmum asked me and my sis to bring in the trolley to another supermarket....omg! i cant imagine myself doing that you know? Thank God no one saw it , otherwise we will be in i dont know what type of trouble. Some more i heard from my sis that my stepmum was chased by the police just last night....i dont know what is she thinking? Thank God she was not caught!
Umbrellas are a great invention but its meant for one one person and not two. I realised that as because the person holding the umbrella have to make sure that the other person is on the same line as him and make sure that he/she is fully covered. While the other person feels very restricted as he/she has to follow wherever he/she goes. Therefore umbrellas are only invented for one person uses. No matter how big it is, its still only meant for one person.
I got to go now and shall post more tomorrow. Recently i found out that i myself am trying to find logic in many things..HAHA
- Mood:busy
Today is my eldest cousin birthday but i havent even made a call just to wish him a happy birthday...what is this?
But what is the point? I am not really close to him other than the fact that we are cousins. He is 23 years old.
I had been spending this whole day reading books and most likely this will be the only thing i am doing for this whole week..at least
Life is a bore if we got to do the same thing over and over again....
I wanna go out, hang out and relax with a few friends... but i dont know who to go out with....
Later on at 7.30pm, i will be back in my room, reading books again till 9pm.
Yesterday before i sleep, i bring all my worries to God and i feel comfortable after telling it out..
I dont know what will happen from now on, but at least i know that God is with me.
This morning my mum called and she asked me for my grandfather number...as in my father's dad
And then after receiving it, she called him up to chat. Later on she called me and talked to me in a manner that is so holy...
She even prayed over the phone! I was surprised at the sudden change in her and i cannot get used to it...
I cant imagine her talking like that to me for the rest of my life..
I also cant imagine being on good terms with everyone suddenly even though i want it...
It will take time i know
I can imagine a few years later when i looked back at this post, i will be laughing at how minor this problems are
- Mood: calm
I want to release it out so that i can get a good night sleep without an urge to blog..
Today i went to church as usual and after service, Uncle Alan asked me whether i has decided to join the RGB a not....
Well i said a yes to his request but as i said that, i am suddenly in a new world where i dont know people well except for their names.
It is the truth, i wasnt close to any of them even though i want to. I hate the feeling that as much as i want to go up and just chat with them, i am held back because i was uncomfortable and simply dont even know what to talk. This feeling has been bugging me for years and i didnt tried to fight back, i just let it simply take over. But then i know it is not good.
It will not help me at all. Whenever i am with people i am really in good terms with, i will show my happy and crazy side. But i hate it, cause it like i am showing two different sides to myself to different people.
I will be joining them on the 2nd week of next month. Once again i will try to fight this feeling of insecurity and will fight it till the end.
I know i can win it through the grace of God.
Have you ever seen someone watching television for less then 15 minutes and just fell asleep. Amazing isnt it? Television is meant to entertain people and not for bedtime stories but to my grandmother, it is. No matter how entertaining the show may be, she will fall asleep and my grandfather will be smiling as he glanced over her.
I shall be back tomorrow to further update, meanwhile i shall be getting ready for bed...bye
- Mood: calm
Today i came to school in a ready mode. Ready for audition although i still feel a bit nervous but i was ready unlike yesterday.
Memorised the whole song, but you know what? In the end i didnt perform..what is this?
When i am ready, they suddenly postpone but when i am not ready, they suddenly come.
At first there was a audition, starting with the first group which defintely consists of the seniors and they were the best.
Then came the next group, which was good but not as good as the previous one ....
Then came the last group which was quite okay.
Madam maiza then suddenly asked who got practised last night as instructed and a few stood up.
Those who didnt including me have to keep all the chairs and music stands..so didnt perform lor
The next practise will be on the last week of december..my birthday week1
We are expected to learn everything by then and not to bring the scores....
So yea i am kind of ready...will be going to library later..borrow books to keep me occuiped for the whole of next week...
So boring...i wont be going to school already ....
And then i am also expected to finish my two assessment books which i bought and now i regretted...
But still have to finish....
I am now yearning to be 14....all my friends have turned 14 except me....even though thats good..HAHA
My birthday seems like a million miles away...
- Mood: cheerful
But then later in the bus, someone came up and somehow shattered my mood....make me feel very vulnerable...
why?
He is my classmate and he constantly insults me. Thank God he is not in my class next year
Madam Maiza finally came back today, she has been marking for the past few days..
So she said what she always said and done what she need to do.
And then suddenly Mr yeo said want to five us a break by making a few people come up and perform....he pointed me ot first...
I was totally shocked, not surprised...i wasnt ready for it and he just pointed me out. He didnt give me time to warm up, he just asked me to come out. I tried to calm down, try not to feel nervous. And then soon we start performing, halfway through, my fingers suddenly turn very cold and i have diffculties in playing my part until i came to a point where my mind turns blank. i was totally stunned but then,thank God, i managed to play the last few lines........so embarasssed siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
omy
- Mood:
embarrassed
This someone is a person whom i always disappoints and its not that i wanted it, who wants it anyway? This person is my stepmother. I failed her in small things. She is quick picky so i will always get scolded for not getting things done or any other things. These things can be easily solved in a matter of time. But she cant wait so i always have to try to get everything done.
But yesterday there are no reason...seriously its all my fault.
My dad and stepmother had decided to go JB from sunday to tuesday for a short holiday break and they sent us to my grandparents house to stay over.
I went back home with my sister on monday to take some important stuff and once again on tuesday to take my school shoes
But i forgotten to do something, and the results of these irresponsible actions would be very severe. i didnt locked the door gate!
Thank God that my house is a pirvate proprety and not some HDB flat otherwise........you know?
It is a stupid mistake that i made. And my stepmother knew about it as she was the one who found out that the door was not locked.
Scolded me, that is what she did of course but not really that bad as i just kept quiet. But i feel seriously down, i never ever want to make her piss off or what. I hate her scoldings the most so of coz i wont want to spite her.
Today wasnt so bad, in fact she treated me better...but i will never ever forget this incident. I will try to win back her trust and be more responsible. This whole week i will be having cca...gtg now,,bye
- Mood:
contemplative
Today i went to school for my overseas briefing but i wasnt really too keen as i didnt do what i was supposed to do...
But still went...and as i stepped down from the bus, i saw my 3rd sis..
She was walking right across the road..so i was planning to meet her...but in the end she went into a coffeeshop
So i decided to buy something and then meet her....
The overseas briefing wasnt that bad cause mr long never mention anything about the draft so i am fine....
Yesterday outing with fatin was super fun! We met up at tampines mrt station and we went to buy movie tickets. After that we started to walk around, chit chat and i bought a CD. Right after that we were hungry and we dont know what to eat so we spent the next 20 minutes walking around. At first i suggested KFC but cannot find..sorry fatin for following me around non-stop. In the end we settle for pizza hut and we ate a lot. There were some funny moments but its quite embarassing to put it in words. Only fatin know hahas. Went to watch movie right aftere that and yeah its worth watching. Walked around and played arcade. I was super crazy playing in the arcade haha as i long time didnt go..so miss it. It is simply worth going out with her. Actually i could have pop in to long john sliver to visit my 3rd sis but yesterday she off dayy.
Just bought my new sec 3 books. Will be spending the next few days exploring it...haha. so yeah i guess i shall be stopping here..
- Mood: content
I changed themes again as i had mentioned in my previous post..yeah never contented. Anyway yesterday i went for the overseas briefing.
Call me kiasu or what..i left the house minutes before 1pm which is the appointed time as i am too eager to meet them. Saw amanda and angel while walking and we chit chatted. Supposed to meet at the computer lab 3 by 2pm and as amanda wanted to play games first, we went in earlier. To our surprise, we saw students from the korea trip using it as well. But we dont mind because it wasnt 2pm yet. After a while, i went out to check and i saw my family! Soon we moved to computer lab 4 and the overseas briefing started.
Mr long were telling us that we have to do a scrapbook adn he explained to us how to do it. I dont understand some areas like making a draft? Anyway once the briefing ended i went to pasar malam with my 3rd sis. The only thing she kept asking me to do is to bang walls! I am not so crazy, you know?
Today i am going out with fatin! I am so looking forward to it! We will be chatting non-stop haha! So i shall end here and be back tomorrow to update more!
- Mood:
bouncy
What should i say here? Okay i wrote what happened yesterday////
Yesterday i was at home the whole day cause i have no guitar. So that means i have to study or read books..and it was super boring. I tried to keep myself awake the whole morning. Soon i can rest, used computer and chatted with my 2nd sis on msn and i learnt that i actually could join them in gym. When i heard that, it was too late....regret that is what i can only do.
Afternoon is also another boring one...cant imagine my life is so boring at home. Reading that is what i could do.
Mainly yesterday is a day where i felt so useless. But i thank God that today wont be so bad cause i need to go school in the afternoon for the overseas final briefing..look forward to see my 'family' again. I cant wait! Tomorrow i will also be going out with a friend to watch movies and friday i will be collecting my new books..so that is very good. i am looking forward to it. On next monday i will also have another debate session..so yeah.
It seems that everyone is afraid of my stepmum...hahas Did i describle her until to the point where they think she is some mad woman?? Let me reassure them that she is not really that scary unless i provoke her. So they have no cause to be afraid. I think i will be changing my blog themes again? Humans are never content with what they have. Like me, i want to have my handphone back! I thought that i could live without it but the desire still remains...
I also cant wait for next year. New friends, new classmates and new memories. And also new teachers, new subjects. Its like once again we are entering secondary school, but this time as a upper sec person. I will be very busy next year as syf is here. oh man! hahs anyway i want to go already so bye bye
- Mood: cheerful
It was okay but i felt a bit gulity..you wanna know why? i still havent have the guitar pro version..okay shhhhh dont tell anyone.
Next practise will be on 25th november..so yeah its just a few weeks from now.
Good afternoon everyone,
Seriously i dont know how to start off but all i can say is that i am fine today. Drats, i sounded so boring...........
Okay let me start. I went to church today and defintely going to church is a good thing for me especially.
Today there is this indian pastor who came to my church and preach. When i first saw him, i was thinking that he is quite short. Oh man, o know i shouldnt made this tyhpe of comments, sorry ah. This is also the first time a indian pastor came to my church to preach so its quite weird.
He is called Pastor Steven. He is 48 years old but he looks younger than that and he is a funny guy. He preached about making the best out of evey problem. I am so happy to hear this message as it is good for everyone who have any problems.
I felt that i am putting on more weight especially after the overseas trip. i must try to lose weight already..haha.
Thanks Joana for your comments, i truly appreciate it and i do hope that we can be good friends. To say the truth i cant imagine you being so negative. Tomorrow got one more guitar lesson and yeah i must be fully awake this time..cant be too blur anymore
- Mood: calm
Anyway i found out my streaming results, i am going to 3e5 next year! I got my first choice and i am in the same class with a few of my classmates like fatin, mel, dalveen, lynette and feeza. But it sounds pretty weird for 3e5..because when i am in sec 4..i will be in 4e5..sounds super weird. I am also in the last express class...but its fine. I dont know what my new class will be next year but yeah i miss 2e4..
Today is my auntie's wedding. There is the morning ceremony in the church and i was feeling so sleepy and cold as the priest took a long time to talk. We also had to sit and stand at certain times which made me even more tired. In the end i never eat lunch. Later on we will be going to attend the wedding dinner..i am gonna eat a lot as i am hungry.
You know what, i am thinking what my class will be like next year cause when i look at the list of people who are in the same class with me, i saw some hyper ones and quiet ones. I do hope that there are no such things as looking down on others because everyone is in the same class and of the same age. I also hope that people will not judge based on first impressions or gossips. Is my request very hard to fulfill? I cant expect everything to go my way but i just want peace. Got to go now. bb
- Mood: cheerful
